Blah Blah Blah

Lexapro made everything surreal and made me ... It was the least harsh.  It's the levorotary isomer of citalopram (Celexa).  I couldn't afford it, and while it was fun to be a 12 year old boy sexually again, it was too weird, the surreality.  Celexa made me shake, my heart pound, and have panic attacks.  They still prescribe it, I just can't take it.  When I took prozac once, I had the most painful week psychologically that I could remember in my adult life, and you know I've had some rough times.  Prozac made life hell, and I was obsessed with the geometries of the architecture of the building I was in.  I was very close to suicidal on prozac.  Abnormal thinking.  Wellbutrin made me feel like I was having a heart attack and basically my thinking is this:

I'm depressed because I should be.  I'm dissatisfied.  It's appropriate.  No one measures my seratonin / norepinephrine / whatever neurotransmitter levels, they just sort of shoot in the dark with these different compounds.  Generally, I'm not depressed any more than one should be, and probably much less than one would be. 

I capitulated my vow to never get a GED / diploma and did the damned G.E.D.  It let me get into school.  When I took the placement tests, I did really well so they offered me the year long Honors integrated curriculum, which was well described by my fellow classmate as "Like academic bootcamp or basic training".  We ran through Plato, Socrates, Diogenes, Thucydides, Herodotus to Diamond, Spinoza, Reimarus, Locke, stopping by Diderot and doing Jane Austin, Dante's Inferno, Sophocles, Antigone, Medea, Hamlet, the Sonnets and much more.  It was serious business.  It turns out I'm a thorough Malthusian.

In the meantime, I take guitar, work on the Kryptos sculpture, keep up learning Spanish and French, and writing a book with a friend as well as my podcasts and personal blog.  Oh, and i've been trying to get material together for a 'zine printed on paper.  When Bucknell interviewed me for a scholarship (which I didn't get because I waxed romantic about UCLA and said nothing about Bucknell, who doesn't have the major that I want) the woman asked me "when do you find the time to do all of this?"

So I've thought about medication for depression, yes.


On 8/8/2011 9:22 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

Did you finish high school?

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On 8/8/2011 9:16 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

And?

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On Aug 8, 2011, at 9:15 AM, Joshua <myemail@address.com> wrote:

Yes.

On 8/8/2011 9:09 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

My friend. We spoke after you were hit by a car. I always wondered where you went. Fake boobs are great. Have you thought about takin medication for depression? 

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