today. Meanwhile, I'm trying to pack up and figure out where I'm going to
live at the same time as I'm really broke and have to attend evening
meetings and work is madness. I slept very well last night, and that is
probably partly due to my being able to really be honest with myself and
bounce my self-concernedness off of the brain of Z. If you don't get very
good sleep for a while and then one night you do, it's like the whole
night is filled up with dream after dream. None that I can really
remember, but every one is like eating a meal.
Hemingway's brother, sister, granddaughter and I think father, along
with Ernest himself, all killed themselves. They apparently all had
alcohol problems as well. I was reading papers on the learning of
suicidal behavior, and family members, particularly children learning to
relate to the suicider. Questions about genetic
predisposition and the role of congenital psych conditions. The Old Man
and the Sea was about a person in Ecclesiastes? Do we really think that
Cleopatra killed herself with an asp? Asps are vipers (I've read she had
two punctures on her arm, but how much can I trust that info) and their
venom is a neurotoxin which would be very painful. I think fixed fang
snakes are usually hemotoxin-venomed and folding, viper type snakes are
neurotoxins. Hemotoxins don't sound very comfy either, but the asp venom
would be really painful I've read.
When I was little I wanted to be a herpetologist. I remember when I
caught my first snake. I went to climb a tree to see where I was in the
woods. I reached my hand up to one of those little hubs where the
trunk branches split in multiple directions. I felt something strange and
for some reason decided to grab it to see what it was. It turned out to
be a juvenile black snake. I was very surprised. I took it home in my
shirt. My dad didn't see why I put it in my shirt rather than just
carry it, but it was a long way home.
