...Chewing up Municipal Property and the Like...

06/14/01

Money comes and goes. Probably love too.

Ever steal a parking meter? Not me. But I'll tell you how I would if
I were going to do it. First, I would find a quiet street with those
double meters on the same post. They look like a Y. This street is
preferrably one that is used a lot during business hours and everything
and the best day to strike depends on when they empty them. Beforehand,
you might want to find a really strong tube of steel or maybe a 2x4,
although I would guess that a 2x4 might be a little too squeaky during the
'get the meters off the post' stage. The length of the tube should
probably be at least 5 to 6 feet. The longer the better, more mechanical
advantage.

Now approach the parking meter taking care not to be noticed by police
or any Goodie-Two-Shoes types. Put the end of the metal tube between the
two meters on the post. Holding the other end of the pipe, walk around
the post (I would try counter-clockwise first) until you're using one
meter to push against the other and make both of them want to move in
opposite directions. If you're lucky, you'll notice the meters will start
to give a little and then you'll liberate them.

When they're free from being attached to the post, try to lift them
off. Take care, they're heavy and you'd probably be making the local
authorities cranky. Haul them off somehow and then either pick the locks
open or bash the tops off with a sledge hammer, whichever works.

I would estimate that there would be anywhere from 20 - 80 dollars,
depending on the schedule when they are collected.