The Tinfoil Umbrella

If Joseph lined an umbrella with aluminum foil, he considered, he would be protected from the mind control rays that people fashioned hats from the same foil to protect their heads with. But an umbrella is a much less conspicuous device, and if he were to line it with something like copper screen that flexes without creasing or making sounds, it may just be the perfect solution. -Something- was compelling him, and it wasn't his own heart.

Joseph wasn't insane, no more than anyone walking on the street, but he held nearly superstitious beliefs about ritual, and symbol. To fashion a parabolas that would reflect his own soul to his own heart from the underside of the umbrella and filter out the cosmic interference from above was a strong symbol which gave him a comic mania. Surely, there were matters which demanded more attention and priority, but not to Joseph's heart. "The natural order of things." a beautiful girl once accused him of upsetting. "I am the natural order of things, the universe made me and I am nature itself."

So Joseph fought his battles on the cosmic level, the metaphysical warrior who waged contention in symbol and ritual, and from this he won confidence and purpose, relief and the spoils of irreverence. He was wary of astrology, because the gods did not take Promethean foresight away from man for naught. And it should be noted that Prometheus did not end up well.