I sat in the transport, listening to Led Zeppelin, watching the scenery slide by. My eyes were looking for a way out. The next ride would be 4pm, to return me. Barbed wire caught my attention, and behind it was a small airport. I studied the planes the way one studies a menu or a bowl of fruit. Which would have fuel? What fuel do they use? Jesus, that was a last-ditch resort, like pressing the hyperspace button to avoid a sure death.
I reminded myself that I should be afraid to think like this. Unfortunately, I wasn't. I considered the availability of highways or fields. The coast would be a good visual orientation. At some point, I thought, I'd have to cross water, which was a bigger barrier than the prospect of a death in the style of Icarus. Fire, crashing, breaking and bleeding are fine, but sharks would be worse. Already I was sabotaging my gestating escape. As soon as you realize what could happen, it definitely can.
The other option was to just trust that however and wherever the van and life led was fine. "Fine"... well, it's a life at least. I thought of the Wright brothers and early rocketeers. These men had a similar disregard for gravity, saw it as a challenge rather than a law. I couldn't imagine living before airplanes. There have been places and times I lived without electricity, but the air was a natural domain. In my youth, I remember saving my own and Jason's life by grabbing his steering wheel from the passenger seat to steer us out of the imminent death procession of freight trucks we had veered into. Let death be Zen.
The airport finished screening by. Over the radio, I heard, "wheel in the sky keep on turning..." Where was my spirit? Surely the world hadn't crushed it. Even when locked into a cell, my eyes looked for the unseen key. The wall was withing jumping distance. I could practice jumping until I knew I could. There wouldn't be any mistakes. Mistakes cost.
This magical way, seasoned with unlikely survival, gave perspective on the strange things afoot in the universe. I had to be on God's side. Without that, I would surely fail. The monkey and the bat are not governed by this, I thought, but I am. So long as my motivation was pure, I couldn't think of any evidence against notion. Life had given me the keys, I just misplaced them all the time.
Nice write
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