The way a Rajah taught me to cut a mango.

This might make you laugh.

a C. Figueroa

• 
  
  I had a dream I started out hanging out with my friend Zoe Glassner as well as a Candace Bushnell in character in NYC. Well, Madam Bushnell invited me to Miami, but then booked us into a 1 bed suite. I was sort of happy about that. I mean, as far as sluts go, she's certainly a prize. Well, I'm in Miami and she's hosting all these parties and all these weird characters that I don't know from around the world are all imposing their interests and demands on the environment/atmosphere so I get frustrated and take a walk.
  
  I mean people from Mauritius, and a elven blond woman speaking Welsh or something fucking impossible. And then young, idiotic, American, athelete Dave Matthews fans. It was just intolerable. I liked the strangeness at first, but they fought over my music, which Candace was happy to let me govern.
  
  There are sharks in the water at Miami Beach and there is some crazy insane storm. So I follow these people on to this bus and it ends up being like all marines, and they were total assholes. We drive out to see on some imaginary causeway and blah blah blah and then the driver throws away my skateboard because "it could have a bomb in it". I'm so pissed off, but I make my way onto a train, except I find out that the train is taking a bunch of other Marines to Atlantic City. I notice you are on this train. You get the train to stop, but we're still in stripmall hell, anywhere, USA. Then I'm on my own again with the guy who plays Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs and another bad guy and they're challenging the US sovereignty in some weird way and the non Mr. Pink bad guy wants me to kill Mr. Pink with a scissors, but I want to kill both of them and get off this new fucking train. Then I woke up.
  
  Fucking hell.

Oooh! A proposition! Should I take it up?

MSG 0:

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I am Mr. Chen Guan, Foreign Operations Manager of the Bank of China (Hong Kong).
I have a business suggestion for you of $50,000,000 Million USD.
Further details Contact me via email (chenguan06@msnzone.cn).
*****Note********
If you are not interested in this business offer please do not respond.

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Master Chen,

I'd like to know your proposition. To describe a business "suggestion"
to be "of $50,000,000 Million USD." is unclear to me. Is this what I
stand to gain, or is this the investment you seek?

Regards,
Mr. Giosue Etranger

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I am Mr. Chen Guan, Financial Director, Bank of China .



I located you through an agency that helps seek people by their email.

Our Client, Gen Zaiki Abdul Ali a businessman and also who was with the Iraqi Forces, made a fixed deposit, of Fifty Million United State Dollars only in my branch. A number of notices were sent to him before the war which began in 2003 and also after the war but, no response came from him. We later found out that the General along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.

After more inquiry, it was also discovered that the Late General did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. What bothers me most is according to the laws of my country at the expiration of 8 years, the funds will be reverted to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody comes for the funds. Against this scenery, I have all the information needed to claim these funds and I want you to act as the beneficiary of the deposit, there is no risk involved in this matter, as we are going to adopt a legitimate method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.


All I require is your honest co-operation and I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the Law. Please accept my apologies and keep my confidence.

I have attached to this mail, an agreement letter which you are to fill and sign, then scan and send it as an attachment via E-mail to me. If not possible you can send me the following via email:
Your Full Name:
Your Complete Address (Physical Address
with Zip Code not P.O.BOX):
Name of City of Residence :
Country:
Direct Telephone Number:
Mobile Number:
Fax Number:
Occupation:
Age and Sex:
Your copy of ID card :

before the Attorney can go ahead with the preparation of the required documents that shall place you as the sole benefactor to the funds.

I await your prompt reply on this.

Please note that I would be replying your mails via this email address.

Kind Regards
Mr. Chen Guan

Blah Blah Blah

Lexapro made everything surreal and made me ... It was the least harsh.  It's the levorotary isomer of citalopram (Celexa).  I couldn't afford it, and while it was fun to be a 12 year old boy sexually again, it was too weird, the surreality.  Celexa made me shake, my heart pound, and have panic attacks.  They still prescribe it, I just can't take it.  When I took prozac once, I had the most painful week psychologically that I could remember in my adult life, and you know I've had some rough times.  Prozac made life hell, and I was obsessed with the geometries of the architecture of the building I was in.  I was very close to suicidal on prozac.  Abnormal thinking.  Wellbutrin made me feel like I was having a heart attack and basically my thinking is this:

I'm depressed because I should be.  I'm dissatisfied.  It's appropriate.  No one measures my seratonin / norepinephrine / whatever neurotransmitter levels, they just sort of shoot in the dark with these different compounds.  Generally, I'm not depressed any more than one should be, and probably much less than one would be. 

I capitulated my vow to never get a GED / diploma and did the damned G.E.D.  It let me get into school.  When I took the placement tests, I did really well so they offered me the year long Honors integrated curriculum, which was well described by my fellow classmate as "Like academic bootcamp or basic training".  We ran through Plato, Socrates, Diogenes, Thucydides, Herodotus to Diamond, Spinoza, Reimarus, Locke, stopping by Diderot and doing Jane Austin, Dante's Inferno, Sophocles, Antigone, Medea, Hamlet, the Sonnets and much more.  It was serious business.  It turns out I'm a thorough Malthusian.

In the meantime, I take guitar, work on the Kryptos sculpture, keep up learning Spanish and French, and writing a book with a friend as well as my podcasts and personal blog.  Oh, and i've been trying to get material together for a 'zine printed on paper.  When Bucknell interviewed me for a scholarship (which I didn't get because I waxed romantic about UCLA and said nothing about Bucknell, who doesn't have the major that I want) the woman asked me "when do you find the time to do all of this?"

So I've thought about medication for depression, yes.


On 8/8/2011 9:22 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

Did you finish high school?

Sent from my iPhone

On 8/8/2011 9:16 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

And?

Sent from my iPhone

On Aug 8, 2011, at 9:15 AM, Joshua <myemail@address.com> wrote:

Yes.

On 8/8/2011 9:09 AM, Victoria Moe wrote:

My friend. We spoke after you were hit by a car. I always wondered where you went. Fake boobs are great. Have you thought about takin medication for depression? 

Sent from my iPhone

fires lit

fires lit by nihiti

Some of the Places I Once Lived

Etude Null